Everyone has heard of having a date night. Date nights are great and very important, but I am not talking about those. I am talking about having Sex Dates. A Sex Date is when you set time aside specifically for sex and nothing else. No chatting about kids, work, or money. Just sex. But JUST SEX can be SO much!!! Its the time talking about being together, to giving/receiving massages, to how you take your breaks in between doing fun things to each other. Connected sex, where you and your partner are really with each other on every level. I’ve been studying and practising tantra since 2002. This is one of my favourite books: Art of Sexual Ecstasy
Sounds good right?! I’ve been following Kim Amani for a few years now and love her passion, inspiration, and how she walks her talk. This is Kim’s post on the Anatomy of a Sex Date: Anatomy of a Sex Date. She is bold, raw, and super honest. She inspires me constantly! I took her jade egg workshop/ Vaginal Weight Lifting and can not believe the difference it is making!!
I am a mother and I love sex. I love my husband and I love to be with him. Our culture has really messed up by making connections to things like you can’t breastfeed and/or be a mother and still be a vibrant sexual human being. Breastfeeding is a topic I’ll tackle later, but it’s another thing I love being passionate about. Back to sex and motherhood… As I navigated sex and motherhood I found the book The Mother’s Guide to Sex. Its a bit old but still very valid. I believe strongly that when we stifle our sexuality it affects our whole lives, and not in a good way. When we stop talking about sex with our partner or stop having sex things fall apart. The greatest gift I am giving my boys is my relationship with my husband!!! How do I nourish my relationship with my partner? Yes, we talk, we eat together, we play, and we have SEX. The more the better!
Kim recommends 3 hours at least once a week just for sex. People have asked if scheduling sex makes it boring. I can tell you as a parent if you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen, especially with three kids. It hasn’t gotten boring for us and we’ve been having sex for years! It’s actually fun. Plus if something is truly important to you, you make time for it. You cultivate space in your life for that thing. Sex is important, especially great sex! I love sex dates. I don’t, however, get to them as often as I’d like to. Remember I’m a mom to three? And I’m homeschooling! I love them very much, and they naturally get in the way of 3 hour Sex Dates with my husband. Sickness and fatigue are the top winners for skipping or cutting our sex dates short. My husband also works away from home and sometimes a lot. For a few weeks he wasn’t in bed until 3am! Balancing all of that we still got in some time though just for sex. For months we were lucky to get 45 uninterrupted minutes! Now we are getting closer to 2 hours 🙂 My husband and I have been together since 2002. We still have passionate, exciting, mind-blowing sex. Quality and quantity count. No matter how much time passes or what is going on in our lives we MAKE time for sex. We make time to talk to each other as fellow adults, which is vital for the sex to be as great as it is.
So, what’s my point? Why is MAKING time for sex such a big deal to me? Simply put, it makes me feel better. I have more energy and feel more positive about life. I am a WAY better mom to my children and have more creative energy. When I feel connected to myself and my husband on a sexual level, I feel grounded. Whole. Sex inspires me and ignites my passions.